At the very outset a very happy friendship day to all of you. Since the time I have woke up today I have received hundreds of friendship day messages on every social media. So basically no matter where you go you would definitely find someone wishing you “Happy Friendship Day”.
Everyone is posting pictures with their besties and flaunting their friendship saga on almost every social media, not that I have any issues with it. It is good to witness so much of sudden love and friendship going around in the air. The celebration got me thinking of the way I used to celebrate this day with my close friends, and I realized that it has changed upside down.
Back then instant messaging apps like whatsapp, facebook messenger, hangout wasn’t very handy for everyone so we used to call each other. Yes an actual call and not wishing over text like today. Technology has seriously taken over us. How about calling up your friends and wishing them like old times.
Being a parent is the toughest job. You have to be on your toes all the time. There is not even a minute of respite. Parenting can get tricky as you want to become so many people at the same time. I don’t have any kids so I can just imagine the level of pandemonium that it can bring to an individual’s life.
Source: thedailyquotes.com
During my childhood I have experienced many hints of parental flavor. There were times when I had to undergo strict rules and regulations whereas there were also the times when I was set free to do whatever I wanted to do. My mother was more of a pacifier but father was strict. Randomly the roles used to switch but majorly this was the case in my house. While mummy would patiently stand behind and see me experimenting in her kitchen, papa would fiercely run behind the bicycle to ensure I learn riding in time. With time, gradually the scenario changed but just a tad bit. But if I have to tell holistically then yes I would accept my parents were majorly parents and at times buddies. But trust me that has worked very well for me.
“Humne kabhi apni beti ko bete se kam nahi samjha”
“Humne apni beti ko bête jaisa pala hai”
“Humari beti kisi bête se kam nahi”
I am not sure should I be happy with these statements or should I go into deep thoughts gloomily. These statements basically describe the whole problem with the gender inequality. Why would you raise your Daughter like a Son? Why would you ever compare your daughter with your son or with anyone’s sons. Are sons some benchmark that one has to achieve. Are they the epitome of righteousness that one has to follow their footsteps or do you do something extra in your son’s upbringing that you have now incorporated for your daughter as well. Have you ever heard “Humne apne bête ko beti jaisa pala hai” , “Humara beta kisi beti se kam nahi” ? I bet you haven’t.
There can be a lot of logical and illogical responses to my afore question. Few that I have heard are it is a colloquial way of saying, it has been said like this ever since. A lot of things have been done in some or the other ways ever since but it has now either changed or evolved. Why are we still stuck to the old and conventional thoughts when it comes to daughter and sons. I am not asking for a revenge here by demanding counter phrases for guys, all I want to say it there is no need to do the comparison at all.
There are times in your life when you feel that your life is zoned out and stuck. Everybody around you has a normal life and it is just you who has all the problems in the world, which is obviously not the case. But there are times when you don’t act wise and your mind wanders irrationally. You see all your friends settling down and you become sad for your life and its murky state. You don’t know where to go, who to approach and where to vent out. The only people who still stand by your side and support you like a wall are your real friends and family.
The past year hasn’t been very good for me. I was confused, disturbed and in a lot of pain. I didn’t know where to go and what to do. Normally I avoid sharing my problems with my parents as I don’t want them to worry about me. More than that I don’t want them to think that I am not capable enough to handle my problems all by myself. My care for them and my self respect goes hand in hand. But at times the situation goes out of your hand and you seek help. I try to sort things as much as I can but when in dire need I don’t hesitate in asking for help and guidance.
After hours of cogitation I reached out to my family, to be precise to my mom. I told her everything. Even if you are faulty your parents would never blame you for anything, for they are your parents and you can never be wrong in their eyes. The beauty is that they would make you realize your mistakes without making you feel small and pitying on you.
That is my maa.
My mother is an epitome of hope and optimism. She made me understand that everything happens for a reason. It happened because it has to happen. It would have happened even If it wasn’t for you. It would have happened anyway. She enlightened me with a lot of Srimad Bhagavad-Gita wisdom, but I kept sticking to the fact that it was my mistake and I ruined it all. I wasn’t able to forgive myself no matter how hard I tried. She then sat my side and said ” no amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worry can change the future“. It stuck me real hard and I decided that I would pull up my socks and look forward to the beautiful life that God has bestowed me with.
I still remember those critical times and think how would difficult it would have been without her. Probably difficult doesn’t even begin to describe the situation. The fact that she stick to me and we were #together in those times worked wonder for me. Those long and simple conversations with her gave me the courage and strength to come out of my guilt and face the world. I cannot thank her enough for standing by me. She was is and will always be my best friend, confidant, philosopher and guide.
With the word family the first person who flashes in front of my eyes is my mother, though everyone else also have their own contribution but you always have a favorite. My mother is the most beloved of all. The second place would go to my sister. We both are very close knit and we share almost everything with each other.
My mom has always been a source of timeless guidance and encouragement. Since my childhood I have always looked up to her in case of any help. She is my friend, philosopher and confidant. I was hesitant in sharing things with her till a certain age but now I confide in her. She is the first teacher of my life. Right from some fundamental teachings of life to the most complex issues she has a solution for all.
She has always made me understand how important family and its members are in your life but when you set out of your shell you are on your own. She has always prepared me for the day when I would hop out in the uncertain world and would be on my own. Initially I thought she meant for financial stability but with time I understood it has to do with a lot of other things too. It was more about how to conduct yourself with everyone else, how to hold your morals high and how to make sure that you don’t hurt someone intentionally. She clearly explained me that money is very important but it is not everything. This was, is and will be one of the biggest things that I have learnt from her. She taught me to save enough for future by cutting down unnecessary expenses not by cutting down your experiences. Being a female she knew what paths and what turns I would be facing in my life so she wanted me to live this life fullest and her right guidance at the right time has helped me galore in my life journey.
No matter how much ethics and vision your well wishers instill in you, there are mistakes which are inevitable. My mother not only supported me when I did the right things but she also stood by me whenever I have done some terrible things. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, made a lot of impulsive decisions and wrong choices but she never left my hand. This was the time when my sister also stood by my side and supported me like a wall. They both made me understand that things happen for a reason and they would have happened anyways. The biggest lessons of all time that I had learnt during those times was to forgive yourself. I was deep buried in the guilt that I wasn’t able to see anything except my mistakes and shortcomings. My mother and my sister taught me to make peace with whatever has happened and forgive yourself.
My life was stuck and without their guidance and continuous support it would have been always stuck but thanks to them I have moved on in my life. I forgave myself and learnt from my mistakes. No matter where you go what you do, there is one place where you can always come back and that is “home” and there are people who would always understand you and they are your “family”.
Getting married is definitely a huge thing for the two parties involved but they do affect a lot of other people in many profound ways. This takes me back to the time when my best friend Rashmi got married to her long time college sweetheart. I along with my other two friends were very happy for her. She was getting married to the person she love and nothing can bring more joy to a relationship than this.
Her marriage had also gone through a lot of turbulence when her mother wasn’t in agreemnt of the guy, but considering how tenacious she is, she made it work. The two people were in love, they got married and we all were very happy. Just few days later we realized that things weren’t the same anymore and that we have lost her to the holymatrimony. The random cafe visits, surprise raide to each other’s houses, borrowing clothes from each other stopped, not instantly but gradually. She had so many things to attend and so many places to be at the same time.
We had accepted this fact and we were prepared to hear a “no” or “sorry” whenever we made random plans. We understood. We were never upset about it but yes we do missed the time when we were carefree and we didn’t had to think about any constraints. Today she is a mother of an adorable daughter and I love to see how much she has grown as a person, as a wife and as a mother.
The fact still remain the same that we lost her to marriage. Things get better, things get worse but they are never the same. We miss the old days, the carefree us but we also celebrate the present. This is a picture of us and the girl in pink is our dearest married friend.
History is now going to repeat itself as I am preparing myself for losing another friend to marriage. My friend Kritika who is also my flatmate is getting married in the month of May. So here I am, going to venture another friend loss.
This post is actually a precursor for all her wedding fun and preparation. The photographs and videos taken at the time of wedding will remind you of the fun and revelry all your life but the preparation for the same also counts. How much you slog for just one glorious day should also be documented. So I have decided that I will be writing a post for every milestone that we cross for her wedding preparation. This might make the loss a little less painful for me.
The posts might get a little personal and may not interest you as it would be specific to a person and an event but I am very excited to begin this wedding post series. Hoping that this series would also make you a part of this wedding and you would enjoy every step of it just as much as we are enjoying. So please join me in celebrating the preparations for the big day for my friend. This is a virtual invitation to all my blogger friends.
Fear is a state of mind which makes you do things which you should never do. It is fear of losing people, fear of undesirable consequences, fear of society, fear of parents and a lot more which stops up from doing the right thing. We lie, cover up, hide things because of fear, but like every feeling can be overpowered fear is no different.
I recently stumbled on the below video of Mountain Dew which promotes the idea of rising above fear #RiseAboveFear, do have a look at it. For more details on this please visit https://www.facebook.com/mountaindewindia
This reminds me of a time when I was scared to speak up for myself and today writing this post makes me so happy that I surpassed my fear and stood up for myself. I am an IT professional and I work for a renowned company. When I was in the last semester of my engineering I wasn’t able to clear any of the campus interviews so I couldn’t bag any job for myself. Most of my friends did and that made me really sad for myself. One of my uncles told my father that there are some job openings in the Department of Posts and my father persuaded me to apply there. Being a central government job my father was completely drooled over it whereas I wasn’t interested at all as I was highly overqualified for that job. Nevertheless when you don’t have anything in your hand you have to follow the elder’s orders.
I applied for the job and as expected I cleared it with flying colors. The college was over and I still had no job in my hand so I had to join the Department of Posts. I joined there as a Postal Assistant right after my college was over. Most of my friends were placed here and there and they were waiting for the joining letters. Days passed and I kept going to that place which I didn’t like a bit. There were people who knew nothing about the technology but would act so smart as if they knew everything and I was a novice there. The atmosphere, the work culture, the people I wasn’t really meant for it. I was just going there for the heck of going.
I was consistently applying every where else so that I could secure a decent job for myself. Knowing all my friends are shifting to another city and doing the kind of work they should do, made me so sad and helpless. Then the off campus hiring for Accenture happened and I bagged the job. It was October when I got the job and I got the joining in March, meanwhile I had continued my job in Department of Posts.
As March came closer I had to decide which way I wanted to opt. If it has to be my way then I needed to resign and if it had to be otherwise I had to say No to Accenture. At this point of time there were many people who tried to convince me by highlighting the benefits of a central government job and how a female’s future is secure in it. At times I realize our relatives and neighbors have nothing worthwhile to do except poking their nose everywhere else. I knew what I wanted to do and what exactly I wanted for my life but I was scared to face my father. The fear kept me silent for many days.
But one fine day it got me chocking so much that I kept my fear aside and confronted my father and my mother. I told them that I wanted to take this job and that this government job isn’t doing any good for me. My parents somewhere knew what I wanted but the lucrative government job kept them on. I stepped ahead of my fear and talked it out and in the end my parents agreed to what I wanted, I took the risk of leaving a secured job to follow my dreams in a world of uncertainty.The next day I resigned from that job and a day later I took the flight to Bangalore where I started my career.
It has been 3 years and 9 months since I am working and I am so happy and content with my life and the decision that I took long time back. So if you are stepping back because of some fear then take a chance, overcome your fear and you will definitely achieve victory.
When I heard about this contest I was sure that I am definitely going to write about it. I took so many days to think over it not because I am not aware of my take on this issue but because I wanted to write facts and points which were not said or written before. I didn’t want to mention all the trite things which might take away the impact that I want to make through this post. First of all the answer to this question is very subjective and you will come across a variety of answers for it, but the contest strictly says “Are you for it or against it?” so I am going to stick to my point of view.
I am perfectly okay with the idea of pre-marital sex, I am aware that a lot of people consider it as a taboo and restrain from talking and expressing their views about it. But this is my den and I am free to express my opinions in all the possible ways. So coming back to the point I think it is completely harmless if two people are in love and they decide to take it one step further. The willingness of both the parties is something which matters not the opinion of others.
Whether to have sex before or after marriage is completely an individual’s prerogative. There is nothing wrong in a consensual sex whether we do it before or after marriage. People around us makes so much hullabaloo about it whereas we have much more important things to talk and shout about. We stand against the pre-marital sex but we do nothing against a man who rapes a women, force himself on her body and soul. Don’t you think we are missing out on the real subject and making fuzz about something which is very normal and should be catered with a lot of respect and candor.
I don’t promote sex for fun and one night stands. I am religiously against it. I believe that whoever is destined to be with me for the rest of my life should have a spic and span future with me. For me his past remains into past because the present and future holds more significance for me. We live in a world where people fall in love every day and every human being is driven by the idea that love and only love can heal their brokenness. So for me as long as the intention behind sex or rather making out is love and commitment, it is absolutely harmless in my eyes.
We can never prognosticate our future and so if future has something else for us then that is the destiny that was well in place way before we were born. It is important that we leave past in the past and move ahead. Life is very long and if you have had sex with someone else before marriage because you were hopelessly in love with each other there is nothing you should feel bad or sorry about. You were in love you did what you had to do. People do crazy things in love, all you did was just a sign of a passionate lover.
I might have drifted a bit from the topic because I get swayed away when we talk about love. So I am totally for the topic and I would like to spread the word that pre-marital sex isn’t any taboo. It is okay to let loose and let go of yourself until the force behind it is raw love and nothing else.
While writing about this issue I cannot help but mention the intriguing book “A Passionaate Gospel of True Love : A Mystical True Love Story” by Poonaam Uppal. You can have a detailed look on book here.
Yesterday was a normal day for me. I got up at my usual time and the first thing that I did was checking my phone for any unattended messages. After fifteen minutes I finally stepped out of my cozy bed and then made some tea for myself. Mornings are generally full of a lot of hustle and bustle. We all try to compensate that extra 20 minutes sleep by hurrying into everything but I make sure that I give my tea its own due time and attention. I pulled the bean bag and sat on it to enjoy my tea, not to forget my cellphone was in the pocket of my pajama all this while.
The moment I sat an involuntary action happened and my cellphone was again out from the pocket in my hand. I kept checking every nook and cranny of it as if some treasure was hidden in it. I finished my tea, got ready and headed out for work. I hired an auto to come to work, the moment I sat in the auto I again took out my phone and started fiddling with it.I am an I.T professional and needless to say my work involves continuous gazing at the computer for long hours. Even though the work is hectic still I manage to swipe through my phone many times.
I left office at the right time and the moment I sat in the auto the cellphone again came out. I was again looking into it expecting wonders to happen out of it.I am the first one to reach home, my two other flatmates come a little late than me. I got fresh and made a cup of tea, it takes away the tiredness of the whole day. For a fraction of second I thought should I open the television or should I open the laptop but I am so glad I ended up opening the book I was reading. After twenty minutes my flatmates arrived and we made dinner. One of my flatmates had some urgent office work so she started working and the rest two of us were waiting for the food. In another five minutes I opened the television and the third one also opened her laptop and started looking at the online shopping websites.
We three were pretty much busy in whatever we were doing and in that moment of time I realized we have become slaves of technology. If I have to describe how the living room looked the simplest way could be there were three fully functional machines present in the room. After a long day at work we are together and instead of talking with each other we were busy performing our slavery for the technology. How mechanical and insensitive we all have become, and when I say this I put myself at the first to be blamed. We are so lost in the advancement of the technology that we have forgotten the human touch and its warmth. I wonder how our next generation is going to cope up with this.
This thought moved me and I decided that I am going to end this slavery. I know it isn’t possible to let go of everything but I decided that everyday I am going to spend at least two hours away from technology and its innumerable luring options. I am going to invest some time going old school and talking to people directly rather than messaging them on facebook and gmail. Through this post I want to urge all of you to make sure that technology doesn’t take over you.
Health is wealth, it isn’t just a saying but it is true to bits. Right from the moment we are born till we die health is a major point of concern for all of us. The care and vigilance increases when we talk about the health of our kids at home.
A healthy child makes a happy home, this statement is complete in every aspect of its own. Our kids are our life and we can do anything to make them healthy and happy. A healthy kid adds life to the house and to our lives. Their shouting, their playing makes us young and alive. If we don’t hear yelling them for a minute we get scared as to what has gone wrong and why isn’t he the usual him. One tight hug from them after a long day at work takes away all the tiredness and worries. Like his laughter makes the house illuminated with the giggles his sickness makes everyone sad and morose. Nobody is same when the child is sick. There is just one thing on everyone’s head, his health. It doesn’t just make one person silent it makes the whole house go mute. The energy, the enthusiasm and the playfulness just goes for a toss.
I remember when my nephew got sick every single person in the house has just one prayer on their lips, it was his health and his well being. Home is not the same home anymore without their jumping around and messing up the things. Even my maid got a little irritated and said “kya karu? sab saaf hi toh hai. Baba jaldi se theek ho toh kaam karne mein bhi kuch maza aaye”(what to do? Everything is already clean. I wish baba gets healthy soon so that even I can enjoy my working).
Right from the atmosphere of the house to the daily routine followed in the house everything changes when the kids of the house are sick. We do everything to make sure they don’t become the victim of the changing weather or sudden rain. The quite conventional thing that has been followed in my house since I was a kid was having a spoon full of Dabur Chyawanprash. For more details of the Dabur Chyawanprash and its effective ingredients and their affect on our metabolism please refer to the link Dabur Chyawanprash. Since I was a kid I have been seeing my mother giving everyone this daily dose so that we have all the necessary immunity to protect from common communicable diseases.
Every kid is a star for his/her parents and their health hold the most important place in their priority list. I wish and pray no parent had to see their kids fall sick and helpless. Let us pray together for the well being of all the kids out there.
Life and Its Experiments 